Teach me how place the displaced emotions…
Am I rejecting the normal? Am I aspiring for something extraordinary? But my aspirations fall short.
I am naive in my understanding of my true hearts desires, however, I know the simplicity of wanting to be loved very well. This simplicity is a companion of mine; friend or foe? For I sometimes wish it away and feel stronger than it; personifying it as an enemy, infiltrating and distracting me.
But sometimes…sometimes I feel a sense of worth through the desire, I feel privileged that I am allowing myself to believe I deserve this, that I deserve something that gives me value.
It is very different to differentiate my emotions as I’ve only just started feeling again. For time numbness was my companion, this companion of mine, defiantly neither friend nor foe; rather nothing. What is numbness that it should be given an identity furthering nothing?
I do not know therefore; where to place the displaced emotions that are returning, for such things as tears are alien to my skin yet recently they have flooded like that of ‘merciful rivers’. For this I truly thank you; thank-you that I feel like flesh and bone again. I am not invincible, and I’m not numb, but simply reliant on you for how I feel, how I act, eat and provide, how I love and dream and how I discern, question and worship.
May this forever be my prayer, Sincerely;
Amen.
